I remember going to my college mentor one day when I was probably about a sophomore in college. I sat in his office in tears and I remember saying to him, “Everyone has it all together, but I’m not like them. I’m not strong. I don’t have it all together.” Everyone around me seemed to have promising music careers ahead of them and seemed very focused on what they wanted. They didn’t sit in their mentors’ offices crying about this stuff. I was not focused, I didn’t know who I was, and I was convinced that somehow, God had passed me over for those things. I was probably 19 years old then. My mentor looked at me with a great deal of compassion and said, “Oh sweetie, no one has it all together. No one is perfect except the Lord.” Those words changed everything. Just hearing them lifted a burden off of my young shoulders.
I knew the Lord growing up. I gave my heart to him when I was 7 years old at church camp at Yellow Creek Lake Church of God in northern Indiana. I was raised in church, but I think it was at this point, in my mentor’s office that I began a journey of knowing who God wanted me to be, warts and all. It was OK to be imperfect, to not have it all together.
Funny how I still need to be reminded of that, not because I think I’m so fabulous, but to take the weight off my shoulders again, remind myself I don’t have to be perfect.
I don’t have it all together. There. I said it. 🙂 That’s the Lord’s job.
jennyssong 